How to Say No

by Ramona Creel, Professional Organizer

• let people know when you have accepted other responsibilities


• no need to make excuses if you don't have any free time


• no one will fault you for having already filled your plate

• you might be uncomfortable with any of a number of issues


• the people involved, the type of work, the morale implications, etc.


• this is a very respectful way to avoid a sticky situation

• you aren't saying that you will never help out again


• just that you feel your schedule is as full as you would like now


• understanding your limits is a talent to be expected

• if you don't feel that you have adequate skills, that's okay


• it's better to admit your limitations up front


• the best way to avoid feeling overwhelmed down the road

• life isn't about drudgery -- if you don't enjoy it, why do it?


• don't be afraid to let someone know you just don't want to


• someone else is bound to enjoy the work you don't

• be honest if your schedule is filled


• "filled" doesn't have to mean really filled


• know when you are scheduled as much as you are willing and stop

• let people know that you want to do a good job for them


• but you can't when your focus is too divided or splintered


• you will be more effective if you focus on one project at a time

• it doesn't matter what the commitment is


• it can even simply be time to yourself or with friends or family


• you don't have to justify -- you simply aren't available

• volunteering shouldn't mean learning an entirely new set of skills


• suggest that they find someone who has experience in that area


• offer to help out with something that you already know how to do

• people often ask for help because they doubt their own abilities


• let them know that you have confidence they will succeed


• you are actually doing them a favor in the long run

• don't be ashamed of wanting to spend time with your family


• having a strong family is an important priority in and of itself


• be willing to put your personal needs first

• often, you have to focus your energies on a work-related task


• you may have to give up some civic or community duties


• if you don't do it, someone else will take on the task

• it's okay to be selfish -- in a good way!


• treat your personal time like any other appointment


• block off time in your calendar and guard it with your life

• know when you aren't going to be able to deliver a quality product


• the reason doesn't matter -- not enough time, wrong skills, etc.


• whatever the reason is enough for turning a request down

• saying no doesn't mean that you can't help at all


• if someone asks you to do something you really despise, refuse


• then offer to help with something you find more enjoyable

• if you aren't available to help out, offer another qualified resource


• helping to connect people is a valuable service to offer


• make sure the person you refer will represent you well

• sometimes it's okay to just say no!


• just say it in a way that expresses respect and courtesy


• leave the door open for good relations

• if you really want to help but don't have time, say so


• offer to help at a later time or date


• if they can't wait for you, they'll find someone else

• unexpected things happen that throw your schedule off


• accept that you may need to make a few adjustments


• it is temporary and you will have more time when life stabilizes

• it's okay to admit your limitations


• knowing what you can handle and what you can't is a skill


• your time will be more efficiently spent on something you do well

Ramona Creel